Marriage was never a hurried decision taken by those who lived in the past. They tallied horoscopes, made enquiries from various people and finally decided to marry. I suppose all that is passé. Everything has changed and marriage is no exception.
In the past family, wealth, caste, class, creed, dowry, place of birth and numerous other factors were considered before marriage. However, today parents want to know whether their would-be son-in-law has a good job and a car, in addition to a posh house.
Similarly, a would-be bride is expected to be a good looking professional. Gender equality demands that both partners should earn. Gone are the days when the husband had to maintain a wife who stayed at home looking after their children.
Those who belong to the new generation have a tendency to be independent even after marriage. Husbands want to live like bachelors enjoying their lives. Wives too like to attend parties with or without their husbands. So, marriage has become a game played according to the whims and fancies of the married couple.
Another trend seen today is that girls are compelled to postpone their marriages due to practical reasons. One major reason is that a girl who pursues higher education and finds a lucrative job will be in her thirties. As men are looking for young partners, a girl who is over 30 will have no demand. As a result, there are many girls who are in their 30s waiting for suitable partners.
In the developed West, most young men and women do not get married but opt to live together. This trend can be seen even in Eastern countries such as India and Sri Lanka. For some people, living together has become a way of life devoid of responsibilities. They want to avoid bringing up children and looking after them. They tend to believe that their joint income is not sufficient to maintain a house and children.
Living together also allows the partners to break their ties and find somebody else. In marriage this is not possible. As marriage is a legally recognized union, the husband or wife cannot get a divorce easily. They have to prove valid grounds for divorce and sometimes the husband may have to pay maintenance to his wife and children. A divorce case also involves a lot of money as both parties will have to retain lawyers.
Recently, a couple got married, but they did not have a gala ceremony at a hotel. It may be that they did not want to have a ceremony as it involves a lot of expenses. What is more important is not the ceremony but living together in harmony. Some marriages that take place in five star hotels end up in divorce courts. On the other hand, those who simply get married without holding a ceremony live together for many decades without any problem.
Some young people get married without thinking of their future. They fall in love and hurriedly get married with or without a ceremony. Then the young wife finds that her husband has no job. When the going gets tough, the young wife is compelled to seek a menial job to make ends meet. In such marriages the husband turns baby-sitter while the wife becomes the main breadwinner.
Anyway, marriage sometimes becomes a gamble. Sometimes marriages succeed and at other times they don't. However, we cannot leave everything to fate. Those who get married should consider all the aspects of life before marriage. The husband should have a steady income to maintain his wife and children. Money plays a major role in marriage. For everything we need money. Those who do not have any income are at the mercy of others.
'Think before you leap' is a piece of good advice to those who intend to marry.